Over the last year, I have found myself in awe of my own body.
The way it stretched and grew to house a child, and then transformed again post-birth. I marveled at the thought of this super bad-ass body, doing these dope things on its own, out of my control. I anticipated gaining a lot of weight during my pregnancy, because I thought that was a thing. You know "eaTinG foR tWo" and all. However, I looked relatively the same throughout the process, and naively assumed my body would just “snap back” to its former state, like clothes shrinking back up after a good wash. But when I looked in the mirror 2 months, 6 months, 9 months, a year later there was a disconnect.
The belly lingered, my hips widened, and I am still not used to these D size boobs. Every curve, every stretch mark, every roll spoke a language I wasn't used to hearing. Clothes seemed to never hold my shape, and my touch felt foreign. I felt like me, but my body had become a stranger.
Do not be fooled by the “snap back" propaganda. There is no snapping back to a former version of self. I understand wanting to feel good about your looks and liking who you see in the mirror, but appreciate this space. Honor your temple. Your insides literally magnified in size. There were feet in your chest, elbows in your ribs. Your body did this incredible thing, all on its own, with no real input from you. Just like flowers blooming, you grew. How dare you try to hide that or think less than, just because when you stand now, you look different. Well, of course, you do.
Your body houses a spirit, from an egg to an infant.
Your body became a world for a little to leave footprints in.
Your body transformed itself, stretched and rearranged parts.
Your body became a home filled with the music of your heart.
Your body performed miracles that still leave you in awe.
Your body was a vessel for the work of God.
Your body was strong when your spirit felt weak.
And though your body body may not look as good as you think.
There is magic etched in your every step, in every inch of your skin
Do not curse your body with shame for not being the same.